Holding Tank
That is where I am right now, in a holding tank. I’d like to enjoy my life right now, but it seems like I am always waiting for something. Waiting for a phone call from HR regarding that job I applied for, waiting a few more months to our trips this summer, waiting for this weight to come off, waiting for my debt to decrease… waiting for the weekend to roll around. All this stinking WAITING.
I don’t know why I keep preventing myself from living in the now. I try to, I do enjoy going for walks in the evening, spending time with Daniel… and whatever else that is going on at that time. But I still find myself glancing to the future. Dreaming about that commute to Southington, avoiding the Hartford traffic and parking headache. Dreaming about the wonderful time Daniel and I will have in England and Scotland. Hopeful of a decent salary increase if the new role come through, and how quickly I can pay off this debt. Visioning myself 15-20 pounds lighter as I keep whittling down ½ pound or so week-by-week.
It’s always about wanting more.
3 comments:
I'm the same way. I think it's easy to do when you're so unhappy with some large aspect of your life.
I think that is human. We always seem to want MORE than what we've got...the grass is always greener, yada, yada...right...
I think it's totally possible to enjoy the here & now and still look forward to the future with anticipation & excitement. The key is to not get so caught in up in the future that you don't or can't enjoy the present. I love looking at the countdowns on my blog sidebar & getting excited about what's ahead but I take care to enjoy each anticipated event as it arrives too. After all, I looked forward to them so much; I want to be able to enjoy them too!
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