Other people have feelings too.
In August I told Daniel that I could not remain in contact with him. When he was in my life it was a constant reminder of what went wrong, the good times that we had and even harder to accept – the loss of that relationship. I was always wondering “what if” and reading into his actions way too much. It was not healthy and I new that I would not be able to get over him if he was active in my life.
Fast forward over the past month. I’ve had distractions, but even more importantly I have had the time to accept the fact that we just weren’t meant to be for each other. As hard as it was to realize it, I now accept that fact.
Since then I’ve realized that I left a few (rather expensive) things at his place in Farmington. I sent a friendly email to him asking him if we can meet up so that I can get it. I also threw out the idea of getting a drink or having dinner. Mind you – I had NO ULTERIOR motives. I just wanted to be friendly and get my stuff back.
No response.
Nothing.
No acknowledgment. No NOTHING.
That made my blood boil. I thought it was rude and very inconsiderate for him to just ignore me. It’s not like I was asking him to give it another go. I just wanted my freaking stuff and I was being friendly.
Last night (after a WONDERFUL day, mind you) we IM’d. It was the first time since we said our good byes that we communicated.
Now I know why he was not responding to my messages. He’s hurt. He still loves me and cares for me – but he also knows and accepts the fact that we just don’t work. He needs to be away from me.
So he’s going to drop off my stuff at my parent’s house so that we don’t see each other. He asked me to not text or email him unless I need something. He said he will always be here for me, but he just can’t handle communicating for fear that we’re going to just keep hurting each other.
Fair enough. I failed to realize that I may have broken his heart in all of this.
9 comments:
I kinda thought that was gonna be the response... and i think you kinda did too...
Good guy, but time to move to another chapter of life.
still tough i know.
**hug**
I know it's easy to forgot how the other person feels when you're so wrapped up in your own pain. I've failed many times to realize that the divorce didn't hurt just me, but also Mr. Ex and our children.
Sometimes it's just right to move on to the next chapter. :)
you're both right. I need to just get him out of my head and move along. I know that I have started and I've come so far... it just that sometimes I regress and get into dwelling on the past. I really shouldn't be doing that, but it just happens.
You may have broken his heart....but it was only after yours had been broken numorous times.
Not that I am saying that is right or wrong...but it is reality.
K - Thank you for reminding me of that. I often catch myself trying to wear the blame... when that is not the case here. You're right, he DID break my heart numerous times over, he DID say things to me that hurt me. I'm not keeping score, but really need to not feel so bad about this. He stomped on me when all I did was love him with all my heart.
wow that sure sounded pathetic. lol But at least I do recognize that it's in the past... we are not a good match... and I am on to bigger and better... like what is in front of me right now. :)
...one day at a time... step by step.
a carbon copy to what the captain's wife said. both were hurt...noone to blame...heal and move on! it is best for you!
I was going to say exactly what the captain's wife said...YOU did not initiate all of this. Granted, it worked out for the BEST for you, but don't ever feel guilty. Yes, it's sad that his heart may have been broken too, but yours was broken first.
Good for you for being such a caring person to really worry about his hurt in all of this. It shows what a great person you are (which we all already knew)!
I agree!!!!!!
After all you went through with this, you are certainly the "bigger" person and feeling for him. Breaking up is never easy for anyone, but you never did anything to hurt him. He may be sad to lose you-because your so damn great!- but you didn't break his heart!!!! It may be broken, but you are not responsible for that.
Sometimes time & space are what everyone needs. It *can* be easy to forget that the other person is hurt too, because your own heartache is so intense, it makes it hard to see much else. On the other hand, the silver lining is that you both had something that you knew was worth mourning. Unlike some certain people from my past that were completely unaffected. =P
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