I can't help but think that the reception dinner is going on right now.
I know that this is for the best, but it still drives me nuts. I really am thankful that he is on another continent, and I know that his phone does not work there. He had a freind purcahse a disposable UK phone and gave the number to a few people at work.
I do not have the number.
I am *very* thankful for this. I cannot reach him. I should not be able to reach him. Last week really did set me back emotionally / mentally.
I realize that there are so many things that were not right with our relationship. I realize that there are some things that I want, that he did not offer to me. Now the question is that he didn't know that I wanted these things, or he is not able to offer them.
Is that an answer I want to find out?
I wish I could just flick a switch and be over him and move along. But I really still love him - the creep that he is.
f'ing PMS.
5 comments:
let me tell you I wrote you a long reply but google ate it. I personally want you to remain strong and not give into dates with Daniel. it only will set you back,i said in the other post that you have so much going on right now for you now to focus on and be proud of: new job, now new kittie and your vacation, and the apartment. All this YOU accomplished with out him trust me I know the pain you deal with but there is someone for you...it might seem like forever to find them but you could have been looking too hard. I also want you to know I like Daniel but you are my wife's friend and a close friend to us both, we only want the best for you. I am telling you it is so much easier having balls being a guy, I got hung up like you are now with the 'what ifs' and I 'should haves'. Don't over- anlize the relationship. It takes two to make it work and I know that now, believe me I was so pissed when my ex cheat on me(best man in our weddings sister-in-law). to get even with her for shitting on my heart, I did some things I'm not proud of but I eventually realized I had to just let it go. And now im married to the best girl that has ever been in my life. I dont know what im trying to tell you in this but believe me you have plenty of people that love you and believe in you.
I'm sorry. I'd cheer ya up if I could with a dance and song.
awww big d
that was sweet & big brotherly
:)
Dan Mega...are we talking a LAP DANCE? I think that JUST may be the ticket. Right, 'Chele?
And to my Big D-that is SO sweet. Like Julie said, so big brotherly. Love it!
I've looked for that switch at various points in my life. Never did find the damn thing. Sure would be helpful.
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