I can't help but think that the reception dinner is going on right now.

I know that this is for the best, but it still drives me nuts. I really am thankful that he is on another continent, and I know that his phone does not work there. He had a freind purcahse a disposable UK phone and gave the number to a few people at work.

I do not have the number.

I am *very* thankful for this. I cannot reach him. I should not be able to reach him. Last week really did set me back emotionally / mentally.

I realize that there are so many things that were not right with our relationship. I realize that there are some things that I want, that he did not offer to me. Now the question is that he didn't know that I wanted these things, or he is not able to offer them.

Is that an answer I want to find out?

I wish I could just flick a switch and be over him and move along. But I really still love him - the creep that he is.

f'ing PMS.